FAITH
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The Wait
It’s been 7 days, 17 hours and 15 minutes since I had my embryo transfer (not that I’m counting or anything). I thought it would be good to share how I’ve been feeling, even if it’s just a reminder to myself someday. In a way, my blog has kinda become my diary…except instead of keeping those intimate thoughts and feelings to myself, I share them with the world. (Yikes!) The embryo transfer on June 30th was so seamless that I started off the week with a lot of hope. The day after the transfer I was super tired, so I barely did anything. I was fortunate to had already made plans…
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Reflections Before My Embryo Transfer
As I sit here and think about my upcoming embryo transfer tomorrow, I can’t help but reflect on where I’ve been. I think that’s why I’ve come to love writing so much…in order to tell a good story, you must reflect. And usually, the story begins long before you think it does. My journey with infertility really began on August 10th, 2019. That was the beautiful, sunny day in Waterloo, Iowa when Rob and I were married. We were both 38 years old when we got married, so we figured there was no point in wasting time…we started trying for a baby right away. We assumed it could be a challenge…
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IVF Update: Round 4, Part 2
Hi friends! I looked back at the last time I provided an IVF update, and it was February 20th, 2022. I’m sure most (all) of you didn’t lay awake at night wondering what is going on with my IVF journey, but I apologize for just leaving you hanging. You know how life gets, right? So, to catch you all up for those who I don’t get the opportunity to talk with in person…. We got 4 embryos from our last egg retrieval in February (I talked about it in this blog post). One was normal (yay!). One was abnormal, so it was immediately discarded. And then 2 were considered mosaic…
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Searching for the Sun
If you have never read my Bio page on my website (…not mad at ya…), you might wonder why I chose My Search for the Sun as the title of my blog. I knew I didn’t want my blog to be completely centered around IVF or infertility because it was just a season I was going through. Instead, I wanted my blog to be about more than just one topic in my life…I wanted it to be about my entire life and the struggles I have faced and will face. I chose My Search for the Sun as the title because, to me, it means choosing to find the good in the bad. I’m sure there are…
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My Year-Long Journey
February 18th, 2021 (The day after my 40th birthday): I will never forget that day. My husband and I were in Sedona, Arizona to celebrate my 40th birthday. We had just spent the previous day (my birthday) doing all the things I love: hiking (or more like walking on a trail, lol), drinking coffee, winery hopping, exploring places we’d never been, seeing beautiful scenery, shopping for art, eating delicious food. My heart was full. We were anxiously waiting on the results from our genetic testing, but we felt pretty positive about it. We had 3 embryos getting tested, so we thought for sure we would at least get one “normal” (euploid) embryo. …
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What I Want You to Know About IVF…
There’s a reason why women (and men) don’t talk about IVF when we are going through it. It’s the most emotional and unpredictable thing you can ever do in your life. You are managing a lot of emotions of your own every day (…anticipation, excitement, fear…), so it feels overwhelming to take on anyone else’s emotions or hear the disappointment in their tone when we share bad news. So we stay silent….maybe forever…or maybe until that little baby is finally born. I was fortunate to know someone who went through IVF before me and was able to talk to her several times before I started IVF for the 1st time. I remember…
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Go to Napa.
One of my best girlfriends has been trying to plan a girl’s trip to Napa for years. She finally booked it for last August and then Covid happened, which caused her to cancel. She has always invited me to join, but each year she was planning it, there was something going on in my life which forced me to say no. Two years ago I was getting married…last year we were in the midst of trying to get pregnant and about to start IVF….and then this year she asked again and my answer felt different. After my last failed IVF cycle in February, I decided that I was going to change…
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“See You In Heaven.”
My Grandmother passed away two weeks ago. She was the last living grandparent I had. She was 92 years old and lived a long and beautiful life. She was ready to go. Seeing someone die is never easy because you know you will never see them again in this earthly life, but it makes it easier to bear when you know that person is ready to go. My Grandma lived a wonderful life. She met my Grandpa when they were young, had 5 beautiful children who made them very proud, and was the quintessential homemaker and supportive wife. She was patient, practical, kind, thoughtful and extremely generous. Her faith in…
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5 Pieces of Marriage Advice We Still Use
Rob and I have been married for almost 2 years. I’m not lying or even exaggerating a little when I say that being married to Rob is the best gift I’ve ever been given. I’m not trying to make people nauseous with a bunch of lovey dovey crap…I’m just speaking my truth. I can also say in the same breath, while my marriage to my best friend is amazing, it’s also been very difficult at times. What they say is true- marriage takes work. I do believe if you pick the right person and put work into it, your marriage should be 1,000 times more amazing than difficult though. I don’t know…
