IVF Update: Round 4, Part 2

Hi friends!

I looked back at the last time I provided an IVF update, and it was February 20th, 2022. I’m sure most (all) of you didn’t lay awake at night wondering what is going on with my IVF journey, but I apologize for just leaving you hanging. You know how life gets, right?

So, to catch you all up for those who I don’t get the opportunity to talk with in person….

We got 4 embryos from our last egg retrieval in February (I talked about it in this blog post). One was normal (yay!). One was abnormal, so it was immediately discarded. And then 2 were considered mosaic (basically they had a combination of normal and abnormal cells). 

Rob and I went to a genetic counselor in March to talk about our 2 mosaic embryos. I really planned on walking out of that appointment being told that most likely they wouldn’t be viable; however, the counselor did an amazing job walking us through everything in so much detail. We walked out of there with a plan that we would potentially use 1 of the 2 mosaic embryos. (If you’re really into this kind of stuff, I can explain it more to you…but I’m guessing the general population is not interested in the nitty gritty of mosaic embryos, so I’ll leave it there :)).

So, we have 2 embryos! In our 2-year IVF journey, this is the furthest we have ever gotten. We are so very thankful.

I’ve gone through the last 3 months feeling more hope than I have felt in the last 3 years combined. But in all honesty, that hope scares the crap out of me. I know so well what hope can do…. when you want something so bad and have so much hope that it will work out for you this time, it can be a hard fall when things don’t go as planned. So, I’m scared to have hope, but at the same time I am choosing to have hope. I was talking to a friend months ago and she said, “hope is courageous.” I loved that so much and thought that maybe I haven’t chosen to be courageous since my last failed IVF round. But I am choosing to be courageous now. I am choosing to have hope that this next step will work.

So, what’s next?

We made the plan in March to do our frozen embryo transfer (implanting the embryo into my uterus) in July. We wanted a few months to get ourselves ready. So here we are. I had been waiting for my June period to start (sorry, TMI) and then I would need to begin taking medication to get my body prepared for an embryo.

Well, I got my period yesterday! (The 1st time in 3 years I was excited to get my period!) I called my IVF doctor, and they updated my plan….my embryo transfer is now scheduled for June 30th. Ahh!

So, in 22 days (not that I’m counting), I will have an embryo inserted into my body and for the 1st time in my life I will technically be pregnant. (That’s how I think about it in my head, but they say you’re not actually pregnant until 10ish days later when they see if the embryo attached.)

I am going to be honest, my friends. I am scared to death.

For those not very familiar with IVF, like I’ve said before, so many things can go wrong or break down in the process. It’s IVF, so that’s the name of the game. For instance, my uterus lining might not be ready for an embryo…. or the embryo might not survive the thaw (and we only have 2)…. or it might not attach…. or it might attach but result in a miscarriage. Or since I’m 41, maybe my body isn’t able to handle being pregnant. (Have I ever mentioned that I’m also a hypochondriac and a worrier? :)) 

Anyway, so much can go wrong. But. Buuuuut. If it all goes right and I can give my husband and I the child that we have longed for, then it will all be worth it. More than worth it. It will be a miracle.

If you’re wondering what the right thing is to say to me right now (or someone else you know who is going through something similar), I honestly don’t know what to tell you. I think the best thing I can ask from you is for your prayers. I know with 100% certainty that this is in God’s hands and out of my control. I wholeheartedly believe in the power of prayer and if I can have others praying for Rob and me (and our embryo) right now, I know it can make a difference. 

I will continue to update you either on my blog or on my social media accounts as the story unfolds. We have an ultrasound on June 23rd, so I should know more at that time. 

Thank you so much for your love and support.

Steph