Life Update: 12.6.21

It feels a little foreign to me to type words on my keyboard with the intention of writing a blog post. It’s been awhile. And the thing is, I don’t really know why it’s been so long. Well, that’s not entirely true I guess. I do know I needed a break from it. 

There was a moment a couple months ago when I stopped enjoying it and started focusing on things that weren’t important. I felt like I always had to put myself on social media because that’s what “they” say you need to do if you want people to see your blog. The problem was it wasn’t necessarily who I wanted to be. I’ve never been consistent on social media, so it made me a little unhappy with myself to force it so much. I needed a break from it because I wasn’t feeling inspired anymore. 

When I started out writing my blog, I always told myself that I would never post or comment on anything unless it was genuine, true and 100% me. And I’ve always abided by that. But in the last few months, I felt like I was trying to force it too much and didn’t like that version of me. So I took a break.

I know now that I have to continue to ground myself in why I decided to start a blog in the first place- to help others find comfort when they are going through similar struggles. And that’s all I need to focus on. Not how many people read my blog or like my social media post. Just simply reaching that one person who needed to hear what I have to say. 

Anyway, I think you get the point. I’m here! Going forward I am just going to give myself the grace to write when I want to write and stay silent when I don’t feel like saying anything. So my point to any of you reading this is that you might not hear from me consistently, but when you do it will be 100% meaningful.  

Part of the reason I felt inclined to write a brief blog post now is because Rob and I have made an appointment to begin another round of IVF.  We go to Iowa City on December 14th for initial testing to make sure both of our bodies are in a place where we can begin the IVF process again. By the time we start everything it will be about a year from our last unsuccessful round, which is hard to believe since I’ve carried that grief so close to me every day since. 

My last IVF round was what sparked me to start this blog in the first place, so I felt the push to share this news with my blog followers. I thought I would use this next IVF round as an opportunity to organically educate people on the basics of IVF. Unless someone has been through it themselves, it seems like the majority of the world doesn’t understand how it works or what everything means. I am going to do my best to break everything down for you these next few months, but please remember what I said above….I will share when I want to and stay silent when I need to.  

Life has otherwise been pretty “normal” for me. November was a tough month in our house because my husband broke his toes and I was sick for just about half of the month, which means I am now determined to make the most out of December! So right now I have Balsam-scented candles burning for close to 24 hours a day in our house, I am actively planning a trip to Vegas for New Year’s Eve and am enjoying the fact that it’s December 6th and hasn’t snowed yet in Iowa. 

I hope you all are enjoying the holiday season so far as well!  

It feels good to be back. 

Steph