“See You In Heaven.”

My Grandmother passed away two weeks ago. She was the last living grandparent I had. She was 92 years old and lived a long and beautiful life. She was ready to go. Seeing someone die is never easy because you know you will never see them again in this earthly life, but it makes it easier to bear when you know that person is ready to go. 

My Grandma lived a wonderful life. She met my Grandpa when they were young, had 5 beautiful children who made them very proud, and was the quintessential homemaker and supportive wife. She was patient, practical, kind, thoughtful and extremely generous. Her faith in God was just like her, steady and strong. She made some of the best meals I have ever had and most of my favorite recipes I’ve gathered throughout my life are from her.  

My Grandma and Grandpa own a cabin in Northern Minnesota, which has been the location for 40+ years of family gatherings, some of the best fishing stories, countless laughs, delicious meals, a million mosquito bites and some of the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets I have seen in my life. She and my Grandpa created a vacation home not only for them, but also for their 5 children (and spouses), 14 grandchildren and now 17 great-grandchildren.  And I bet if you asked each one of us, we would all say it feels like home when we are there.  My Grandparents enriched each of our lives in so many ways. We have been so blessed by them and I will miss my Grandmother greatly.

I was fortunate enough to see my Grandma a few days before she died. Rob and I were in Indianapolis when we heard she wasn’t doing well, so we, of course, stopped by to see her on our way home. 

What do you say to someone who is so close to taking their last breath of life? 

I was scared to talk to her and didn’t know what the “right” thing was to say.  Unfortunately, I have experienced this before when my Dad died and I learned that no matter what, just say something…say how you feel…don’t ever waste that opportunity because some people never get the chance to say goodbye.

As my hands were shaking and tears were forming in my eyes, I told my grandma that I loved her. I told her that she was a great role model for me throughout my life. I thanked her for her generosity over the years. I held her hand and cried. She didn’t say much; she just listened, which was exactly her personality.  But then when I felt like I had said what I wanted to say to her and couldn’t prolong the inevitable anymore, she said: “See you in Heaven.”  And without skipping a beat I said, “Yes, you will.” I kissed her head, walked out of the room into my husband’s arms and burst into tears. I couldn’t think of a more perfect ending to the last conversation we would have.

Whenever anyone close to me has died, it’s made me hyper-aware of life.  Death is a part of life. We will all die someday. I actually think this might be the only thing that all of us humans have in common- we will all die. It’s a fact that many of us don’t like to think about.

Since that day, I’ve thought often about her last words to me: “See you in Heaven.”  She was so confident about that statement. She never seemed scared or sad to be dying. She was steady in her faith and where she was going, just like she has always been.

I hope you all know by now that I am a believer in Jesus Christ.  But also in the same breath I can tell you that I’ve wrestled with my faith for many years and I still struggle at times.  I’ve made a million mistakes and sinned a million more. I don’t understand God a lot of times. I’ve questioned if God really exists. I know a lot of non-believers and I can understand all of the arguments made about God. Faith is hard because it’s…well, it’s faith. 

Despite all of those things, I am a believer. And the reason why is because I know how much better and more meaningful my life is when God is at the center. That doesn’t mean my life is easier (I hope you know that by now if you’ve read my blog), but my life has meaning…. I see God working…and I have more peace. I can look back at the times I was speaking to Him and see how He was speaking back to me. That is what I always come back to when I’m questioning my faith. 

My last conversation with my Grandma really got me thinking about what I hope to feel when I am on my own deathbed. I think it’s something that people probably don’t think about often enough. It’s made me think of that billboard I see from time to time: “Many who plan to seek God at the eleventh hour die at 10:30.” The fact is I could die tomorrow…you could die tomorrow….no one is exempt from death. But the question is….do we know where we are going after and do we have peace with it like my Grandma did?

I’m not sure about you, but I know for certain that I want to have that peace when it’s my time to go. I want to feel at peace with the life I am leaving behind and even more excited about the eternal life I am about to enter, just like my Grandma was. 

And I hope that my last words to a loved one are the exact same that my Grandma’s were to me. 

“See you in Heaven.”

In memory of my beloved Grandma- Vera Rosalie Giertz 10.28.28-6.6.21